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May 23 2018


Things that make me uncomfortable:



Bayonetta without glasses


May 22 2018



so this guy at school has a 3d printer and he’s been secretly selling these

kirbies with legs

and i got mine today

here’s the handmade package

i open it and


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Ready Player One (2018)

how dare you insult Spy Kids like this

spy kids deserves to be insulted

In my new world you will not be allowed to have bones, heathen

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i truly, without even a smidgen of irony, love the state of video game media

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Good morning, Who are we cancelling today?

My 9 to 5

Reblogging for good luck

thx thanos

When I’m done half of your debt will exist.. perfectly balanced.. as all things should be.







Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something


some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.

Some of my favorites include:

  • Shaft of Delight (1700s)
  • Womb Sweeper (1980s)
  • Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
  • Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
  • Corporal Love (1930s)
  • Staff of Life (1880s)
  • Spindle (1530s)
  • As good as ever twanged (1670s)
  • Gaying Instrument (1810s)
  • Beef Torpedo (1980s)

and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble 

And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:

  • Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)
  • Poontang (1950s)
  • Spunk Box (1720s)
  • Ringerangroo (1930s)
  • Ineffable (1890s)
  • Itching Jenny (1890s)
  • Carnal Mantrap (1890s - a busy decade apparently)
  • Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)
  • Rough Malkin (1530s)
  • Socket (1460s)

and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.


this alone has justified the internet

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This is actually a test showing how sponges pump water through themselves for filter feeding!
They simply colored the water around them so you could easily see the process.

I love the ocean

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what is Blizzard even trying to create with Moira. this pretentious and diabolical genius scientist who is prim and proper and quotes Oscar Wilde but also loves anime, dresses up as David Bowie and dances like she’s at an anime con rave. who the fuck IS this woman

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something i drew as i get closer to finishing my project! i dont use snapchat so im unsure if i got the text right lmao.


art cheats



hello i am here today to not lose track of the art cheats i have discovered over the years. what i call art cheat is actually a cool filter/coloring style/way to shade/etc. that singlehandedly makes art like 20 times better

80’s anime style

glitch effect

glow effects

adding colors to grayscale paintings

foreshortening ( coil )

foreshortening ( perspective )

clipping group (lines)

clipping group (colors)

dramatic lighting ( GOOD )

shading metal

lighting faces

that is all for today, do stay tuned as i am always hunting for cool shit like this

guys stop reblogging this these are cheats the CIA will come for you

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me: the “a boy is mean to a girl because he likes her” trope is harmful and we should stop supporting it in media

yall: mhm mhm yes good

me: the same logic should be applied to male/male ships


isn’t it usually girls being mean to guys tho like, i don’t think i’ve ever seen the reverse

In my experience, dudes were always hella mean to me when they were into me lol

I think for girls, they’re just hella mean to the dude during the relationship but not during initiation of it

May 21 2018




Couples receive “parent points”, which they can use to purchase their children. Most parents wait for a few thousand, but you chose to buy the cheaper, 100 point child.

Shane knows what it’s like to be a 100 point child. He knows how it feels to see potential parents–potential families–come through the facilities doors, faces bright with excitement. He knows how it feels to see them reading the little plaques on the nursery doors, scanning the lists there for the right bits of knowledge and etiquette and grace that they want their baby to have.

He knows how it feels to see their faces pinch outside the window before they hurry to the next room.

Shane grew up in a 100 point nursery. They had torn, ratty, books and no teachers, and when snack time came, the tray was pushed through a slat in the door. They were called “unruly” and “damaged” and “stupid.” A lot of the other kids threw tantrums and broke furniture (and sometimes other kids). A lot of the other kids went quiet after the first few years when they realized they’d never be adopted until they were old enough (or pretty enough) to be useful. A lot of the kids cried and didn’t stop until they got taken away or were aged out.

Shane’s grown up a lot since aging out. He put himself through school, got himself a job, shed his 100 points like the torn clothes he’d left the facility in. He’s powerful now, successful, and he’s grown out of the twisted nose, big ears, and gap-toothed smile that had made him one of the less attractive 100 point babies. Or maybe he’s grown into them. Who’s to say?

It’s taken him a long time to get enough Parent Points to do what he wants. Being a man is, for once, somewhat hindering as most of society equates “parental” with “maternal.” He’s lost count of how many social workers have politely hid expressions of surprise when he told them he wanted to adopt stag, that he’s willing to take the classes, get the grades, make the oaths to get even one Parent Point.

Keep reading



me: the “a boy is mean to a girl because he likes her” trope is harmful and we should stop supporting it in media

yall: mhm mhm yes good

me: the same logic should be applied to male/male ships





when i was like 9 i asked my mom what a fetish was and she said “uh..um..its when you love something a lot” and i told her i had a fetish for video games and she just said “no. you dont”

Called out for being a fake gamer by your own mom? Brutal



negasonic teenage warhead: bitch
deadpool: blocked
negasonic teenage warhead: wait unblock me i need to tell you something
deadpool: unblocked
negasonic teenage warhead: bitch

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